Ramblings of a wretched soul.

Not much to say these days, those who know me already knows the crap i'm going thru( the usual ones) so i'm just gonna make it short and sweet.

Here i go :

To those whom i'm thankful for putting up my crap and have been helping me in one way or another, Merry Christmas. May all your wishes come true and hope 2004 will not be a dreadful year for you.

For all those bloody fuckers out there, may your dicks shrink to a microbe size, for ladies, i hope your tits sag to the 18th levels of hell.

This picture is specially for YOU. Yes, you ONLY sweetie.

I knew it. I kinda expected it anyway... Deep down in my heart i've already knew the answer, but i'm just in denial.

No, i'm not facing a relationship problem or whatever so. I'm facing something worse than your boyfriend not returning your SMS, not promising to pick you up from work, or telling you that in fact he's a closet gay. To me, i'm facing something that seeks more attention, requires more urgency. It's goddamn serious.

I GOT A SUP PAPER.

*ARRGGGGGH*

Damn it, time to dig out those notes that i chucked in my trash bag.

In other words, FUG.

Anyway on a happier note, i found a sheesha heaven! I went to explore this tiny island that we're living in, as i was supposed to meet Indecent and Fallen Poop for the makeover thingy but i've a terrible ear ache went to the Doc in the morning and i rested at home. But when i decided to look for the girls, i can't reach them as one of their hp's low-batt. So i decided to roam around aimlessly and i found the sheesha joint, not exactly a joint, more like a cafe at Arab St. It's so cool, once you enter, you can see people puffing away like drug lords with fumes coming outta their mouths like pissed-off dragons. This tukish pipe has a glass base which contains water and the middle part of it is the metal piece that connects it to the tobacco and the burning charcoal that is placed at the metal plate at the top. The tobacco has a variety of flavours to choose from, from pistachio to apple. Apple was deemed the most popular flavour from what the lady told me. But, i had cherry last night as the apple flavour ran out.

For those who had not tried it before, the waiter/waitress will hand you the pipe with the plastic mouthpiece (for hygiene's sake so that you wouldn't have to come in contact with the saliva from the previous users). You really have to inhale deeply as the pipe's quite lengthy,so that the water pressure will yield the flavour of the tabacco to your mouth. The tabacco's mild compared to ciggies, so non-smokers, don't worry, you're not gonna faint after a puff. Altho, i felt as if i was floating after smoking it as i have not touched a stick for a very looong time.

I sat at the table near the back alley as i wanted some privacy and peace. There was afew people there having their late night supper and smoking the sheesha at the same time. The music they were playing that day was Arabian music, i dunno whether they play it all the time, or it was to suit the Hari Raya mood that is going on but it irritates me after a while. Well, it was a fun experience, when i was there i wished i could have friends with me as well. It's ok, i'll drag those bitches along with me for the next session of sheesha-ing. I'm already marking down dates to go for another sheesha delight wooooooh...

You can read more about the pipe

here

Wait no more. Be a dragon today.

Apologies to all whose blogs are added on my sidebar, your link's in a horrible shade of green. I can't seem to change the colour code for now, i'll try to work on it most likely on the 32rd of December*. If you're seeing some other colour, like red for example, your retina's screwed.

*for those numbskulls, look at your calendar

End of message.

Nokia 3200. Once you own it, you're exempted from hell.

It's sooooo freakin cool! Nokia 3200 has an integrated digital camera, polyphonic ringtones and Java games, FM radio and it comes with a torch too!(not that i really care) it is a tri-band phone featuring WAP over GPRS, HSCSD for standard dial-up and an XHTML browser, which is pretty neat if you ask me. I just love the phone for it's integrated camera that allows users to edit their pictures.

This is what i dream to own. Santa, you better be reading this.

Forget it, if i gotta depend on a man cladded in a red suit who desperately needs to go to Marie France at least for a year to shed the fats he consumed from reindeers he had for breakfast everyday, the probability is... ZERO.

I already know what to do with my pay. Which is dued sometime last week. GOD. DAMN. IT.

No i shall not swear. I'm a good girl.

Reason to wear a wet suit and own a mobile phone :



Yeah, finally i updated my blog. Sort of. Thanks to Maddie!!! My saviour!!! I shalt express my gratitude and bestow her with Johnny Depp's holy nail clippings.

I made that call yesterday nite. Finally. It wasn't really that difficult to make a call, but considering that i have not contacted that friend of mine for close to 2 months, i reckoned that it would be kinda awkward for both of us. We drifted apart due to work and some other reasons that i would not wanna mention here. I was in a state of dilemma.

These thoughts kept running thru my head:
"Would it be weird to call him up after so long?"
"But i'll just try to make it short and simple by wishing him Happy Birthday can't be that difficult right?
"what if i've nothing to say to him after so long?"
"A simple hello and a birthday greeting won't KILL me.
"what if he hangs up on me?"

These meaningless debates went on and off till late last nite around 11. And i realised that if i don't make that call, i wouldn't have the chance to even if i wanted to later when the clock strikes 12.

I struggled with myself for a couple of days whether to make a call to this friend of mine and finally gathered guts to dial his number. It was his birthday yesterday actually. I was kinda disappointed when his phone was off (off to do some mad partying perhaps) yet at the same time felt a strong sense of relief that i don't have to speak to him. Yes, i know i'm weird. Why would i make a call to him when i don't feel like talking to him?!? It's funny when you have so much to say and tell the person but when you finally get to see or talk to that person after soooo long, your ability to make a decent conversation just die in an instant.

I punched the numbers and i heard his voice. It was a message that he left for those who called at the wrong time( like me) It's great to hear his voice once again. I left a short message and wished him Happy Birthday. Was surprised that i'm still breathing after i hanged up the phone. A load have been lifted off my chest and i felt more at ease with myself later last nite. That nagging feeling that has been bothering me for the past week has gone.

On another note, a very dear friend of mine has FINALLY ditched her loser-ass bf for good and feels happy about it. Good for her as she finally sees the light. On the other hand, another friend of mine just got herself attached. Of course, as her friend i feel happy for her as she has been single for a very long time as long as i can remember. It's great to find someone who appreciates you, to share your thoughts, feelings, troubles and be loved at the same time. But when shit hits the fan, it sucks.

What can i say?

MEN=TROUBLE.

Although i still love men, i pretty much prefer to be single at the moment until i find the right(wrong) person to share my life with in a new relationship to screw up my already-stinky-dung life all over again. I mean, who hates being loved and adored? I'm constantly waiting for a guy to sweep me off my feet, fall head-over-heels in love so that i would dive right into the pool of love.

But having said that, right now, i'm just happy NOT having to deal with guys who happen to have big egos, and how i should arrange my schedule to fit him in, and that i should be more sensitive and pay more attention when he's down, liars and players who can never seem to understand the word "faithfulness", selfish bastards who whine and demand alot but can't give. I would rather be alone and single than being committed to a relationsHIT.

Yeah, Miss Independent i am.

By now, you should be able to tell that i'm a tired-cynical-jaded-distrusting bitch.

Wanted to make an entry yesterday nite, but i was dog tired so i only managed to update this boring blog now. I was in a relatively good mood yesterday. For those who know me really well, they knew that it somewhere near immpossible that i'll be in a good mood. Grouchy most of the time, i can't help it. I was borned with a cranky face, although i can morph into a beaming smiley face if i try hard enough. Like that (`,)

So, what exactly changed my mood, it was the twins. My tolerance level for their laziness has exceeded its limits. The younger twin spent 1/2 hr on finding his spelling book, and when we finally started the spelling, the older twin refused to co-operate and hand over the exercise book for marking. After a few threats comin from me like " If you don't let me mark it, i'll put a zero." and "I don't think we have time for breaks today." certainly helped. he handed me the book and guessed what? He scored a ZERO. I reprimanded him and told him that he have to study the list of words I gave them each week or it would defeat the purpose of me comin to their house once every week when he learns nothing. I told the younger brother off telling him to motivate his older brother by getting him to study with him when it's study time (i hate to drag him in, but i have to).

When i wanted them to recite what i have just taught, the lazy boy shook his head stubbornly and lamented that he is hungry. I asked The younger twin whether they had their dinner yet and he said they did. So, that was a lame attempt in coaxing me to give them a break. The older-but-lazy boy said nothing and just just pouts as he was doing his corrections for the disastrous spelling session earlier on. Finally, when their parents came back, he realised that shit is about to hit the fan( their mom is the Disciplinary mistress in the house while the father takes a backseat) and appears to be more conscientious. But well, it's my responsibility to inform the parents of their kids progress and I when on to tell the mother what happened. I left after the sesson is up and really hope that she doesn't do much damage to her lazy son.

By the way, the older-but-lazy twin said asked me this question earlier during the lesson which i expected a long time ago. Lecturers and classmates have questioned me of my ethnicity say... for almost 2 yrs of my school life, so this came as not much of a surprise. Sometimes sales persons treat me as a loaded tourist but they have no idea i'm actually a brokeAss who's only got the last very-crumpled $5 note in my big but almost-empty wallet. When i finally uttered "This one how much ar?" they threw me a digusted look. Pure satisfaction. So here it went:

Older-but-lazy twin: Tee-cher, u chinese ar?
Me: Yes, why? *half amazed and puzzled at the same time*
Older-but-lazy twin: But you look English. *embarassed smile*
Me: *Put on a faint and tired smile*

I really wanted to tell him that my fren calls me a Russian Bitch, not just English. I'm Jayme Anna Kounikova Fuhkher, want some Vodka?

The following brief dialogue i shared with one of my colleagues at my new workplace during the 1st day of work:

S: Hi, you have mixed blood is it?
Me: Er, no. I'm a chinese. *polite smile*
S: Oh... mistaken you for a Eurasian, cause you looked mixed. *chortles*
Me: Har-har... Don't worry, i get that alot.

Yes, i've got mixed blood. 1/8th Itallian Prego sauce, 1/12th ketchup, 1/5th Tabasco and the rest would be Thai Chilli sauce. Of course, with a dash of fried shallots.

I changed that topic afterwards. Later in the day, another colleague told me that S told her that i looked like a Eurasian. Well, well... now they have something new thing to feed on their daily gossip on whether I have an Aussie mom or a Kiwi dad.

Now, i seriously doubt what's written in my IC. I need to talk to my mom about my family tree. In case i missed out on some fossil who's actually some German sausage.

I started work last Sunday. It was quite a pleasant day, surprisingly. The full-timer, Janet and was showing me the ropes on how to operate the cash register, explaining the products to me and how to approach potentiual customers. It was a relatively busy day as it was Sunday where people hang out in the malls to do their shopping, families bringing their kids out for dinner, skipping the hassle to cook and wash-up after a badly cooked dinner. Once in a while, taunting howls and " neh neh nee poo poo, you cannot catch meeee..." from 7 year-olds could be heard.

Nonetheless, it was a relatively good day. I had started working for serveral days now, 3 days to be exact and I am already feeling the pressure from my boss. She expect sales to go up when her target is quite unrealistic, to be honest. I have to learn how to operate the cash register by Friday, which I'm not sure if it will happen at all. I heard a piece of shocking, rather blardy news from my co-worker on Sunday. All paychecks will only be up only the next month. And that means, workers will only be paid on November for October's salary. That is not all. All staff have to go down personally to the HQ at Aljunied to collect their paychecks. If only i have a choice, I'll rather have someone handling a gun to me. This is crap. It instantly made me less motivated to try my best to push sales and commit to the job. But well, it's still a JOB, I'll see how long i'll stick around.