Ramblings of a wretched soul.

2003-12-20T23:47:00.000+08:00

Not much to say these days, those who know me already knows the crap i'm going thru( the usual ones) so i'm just gonna make it short and sweet.

Here i go :

To those whom i'm thankful for putting up my crap and have been helping me in one way or another, Merry Christmas. May all your wishes come true and hope 2004 will not be a dreadful year for you.

For all those bloody fuckers out there, may your dicks shrink to a microbe size, for ladies, i hope your tits sag to the 18th levels of hell.

This picture is specially for YOU. Yes, you ONLY sweetie.

2003-11-27T12:28:00.000+08:00

I knew it. I kinda expected it anyway... Deep down in my heart i've already knew the answer, but i'm just in denial.

No, i'm not facing a relationship problem or whatever so. I'm facing something worse than your boyfriend not returning your SMS, not promising to pick you up from work, or telling you that in fact he's a closet gay. To me, i'm facing something that seeks more attention, requires more urgency. It's goddamn serious.

I GOT A SUP PAPER.

*ARRGGGGGH*

Damn it, time to dig out those notes that i chucked in my trash bag.

In other words, FUG.

Anyway on a happier note, i found a sheesha heaven! I went to explore this tiny island that we're living in, as i was supposed to meet Indecent and Fallen Poop for the makeover thingy but i've a terrible ear ache went to the Doc in the morning and i rested at home. But when i decided to look for the girls, i can't reach them as one of their hp's low-batt. So i decided to roam around aimlessly and i found the sheesha joint, not exactly a joint, more like a cafe at Arab St. It's so cool, once you enter, you can see people puffing away like drug lords with fumes coming outta their mouths like pissed-off dragons. This tukish pipe has a glass base which contains water and the middle part of it is the metal piece that connects it to the tobacco and the burning charcoal that is placed at the metal plate at the top. The tobacco has a variety of flavours to choose from, from pistachio to apple. Apple was deemed the most popular flavour from what the lady told me. But, i had cherry last night as the apple flavour ran out.

For those who had not tried it before, the waiter/waitress will hand you the pipe with the plastic mouthpiece (for hygiene's sake so that you wouldn't have to come in contact with the saliva from the previous users). You really have to inhale deeply as the pipe's quite lengthy,so that the water pressure will yield the flavour of the tabacco to your mouth. The tabacco's mild compared to ciggies, so non-smokers, don't worry, you're not gonna faint after a puff. Altho, i felt as if i was floating after smoking it as i have not touched a stick for a very looong time.

I sat at the table near the back alley as i wanted some privacy and peace. There was afew people there having their late night supper and smoking the sheesha at the same time. The music they were playing that day was Arabian music, i dunno whether they play it all the time, or it was to suit the Hari Raya mood that is going on but it irritates me after a while. Well, it was a fun experience, when i was there i wished i could have friends with me as well. It's ok, i'll drag those bitches along with me for the next session of sheesha-ing. I'm already marking down dates to go for another sheesha delight wooooooh...

You can read more about the pipe

here

Wait no more. Be a dragon today.

2003-11-24T22:32:00.000+08:00

Apologies to all whose blogs are added on my sidebar, your link's in a horrible shade of green. I can't seem to change the colour code for now, i'll try to work on it most likely on the 32rd of December*. If you're seeing some other colour, like red for example, your retina's screwed.

*for those numbskulls, look at your calendar

End of message.

2003-11-24T20:35:00.000+08:00

Nokia 3200. Once you own it, you're exempted from hell.

It's sooooo freakin cool! Nokia 3200 has an integrated digital camera, polyphonic ringtones and Java games, FM radio and it comes with a torch too!(not that i really care) it is a tri-band phone featuring WAP over GPRS, HSCSD for standard dial-up and an XHTML browser, which is pretty neat if you ask me. I just love the phone for it's integrated camera that allows users to edit their pictures.

This is what i dream to own. Santa, you better be reading this.

Forget it, if i gotta depend on a man cladded in a red suit who desperately needs to go to Marie France at least for a year to shed the fats he consumed from reindeers he had for breakfast everyday, the probability is... ZERO.

I already know what to do with my pay. Which is dued sometime last week. GOD. DAMN. IT.

No i shall not swear. I'm a good girl.

2003-11-23T01:11:00.000+08:00

Reason to wear a wet suit and own a mobile phone :

Yeah, finally i updated my blog. Sort of. Thanks to Maddie!!! My saviour!!! I shalt express my gratitude and bestow her with Johnny Depp's holy nail clippings.

2003-10-30T15:01:00.000+08:00

I made that call yesterday nite. Finally. It wasn't really that difficult to make a call, but considering that i have not contacted that friend of mine for close to 2 months, i reckoned that it would be kinda awkward for both of us. We drifted apart due to work and some other reasons that i would not wanna mention here. I was in a state of dilemma.

These thoughts kept running thru my head:
"Would it be weird to call him up after so long?"
"But i'll just try to make it short and simple by wishing him Happy Birthday can't be that difficult right?
"what if i've nothing to say to him after so long?"
"A simple hello and a birthday greeting won't KILL me.
"what if he hangs up on me?"

These meaningless debates went on and off till late last nite around 11. And i realised that if i don't make that call, i wouldn't have the chance to even if i wanted to later when the clock strikes 12.

I struggled with myself for a couple of days whether to make a call to this friend of mine and finally gathered guts to dial his number. It was his birthday yesterday actually. I was kinda disappointed when his phone was off (off to do some mad partying perhaps) yet at the same time felt a strong sense of relief that i don't have to speak to him. Yes, i know i'm weird. Why would i make a call to him when i don't feel like talking to him?!? It's funny when you have so much to say and tell the person but when you finally get to see or talk to that person after soooo long, your ability to make a decent conversation just die in an instant.

I punched the numbers and i heard his voice. It was a message that he left for those who called at the wrong time( like me) It's great to hear his voice once again. I left a short message and wished him Happy Birthday. Was surprised that i'm still breathing after i hanged up the phone. A load have been lifted off my chest and i felt more at ease with myself later last nite. That nagging feeling that has been bothering me for the past week has gone.

On another note, a very dear friend of mine has FINALLY ditched her loser-ass bf for good and feels happy about it. Good for her as she finally sees the light. On the other hand, another friend of mine just got herself attached. Of course, as her friend i feel happy for her as she has been single for a very long time as long as i can remember. It's great to find someone who appreciates you, to share your thoughts, feelings, troubles and be loved at the same time. But when shit hits the fan, it sucks.

What can i say?

MEN=TROUBLE.

Although i still love men, i pretty much prefer to be single at the moment until i find the right(wrong) person to share my life with in a new relationship to screw up my already-stinky-dung life all over again. I mean, who hates being loved and adored? I'm constantly waiting for a guy to sweep me off my feet, fall head-over-heels in love so that i would dive right into the pool of love.

But having said that, right now, i'm just happy NOT having to deal with guys who happen to have big egos, and how i should arrange my schedule to fit him in, and that i should be more sensitive and pay more attention when he's down, liars and players who can never seem to understand the word "faithfulness", selfish bastards who whine and demand alot but can't give. I would rather be alone and single than being committed to a relationsHIT.

Yeah, Miss Independent i am.

By now, you should be able to tell that i'm a tired-cynical-jaded-distrusting bitch.

2003-10-15T18:36:00.000+08:00

Wanted to make an entry yesterday nite, but i was dog tired so i only managed to update this boring blog now. I was in a relatively good mood yesterday. For those who know me really well, they knew that it somewhere near immpossible that i'll be in a good mood. Grouchy most of the time, i can't help it. I was borned with a cranky face, although i can morph into a beaming smiley face if i try hard enough. Like that (`,)

So, what exactly changed my mood, it was the twins. My tolerance level for their laziness has exceeded its limits. The younger twin spent 1/2 hr on finding his spelling book, and when we finally started the spelling, the older twin refused to co-operate and hand over the exercise book for marking. After a few threats comin from me like " If you don't let me mark it, i'll put a zero." and "I don't think we have time for breaks today." certainly helped. he handed me the book and guessed what? He scored a ZERO. I reprimanded him and told him that he have to study the list of words I gave them each week or it would defeat the purpose of me comin to their house once every week when he learns nothing. I told the younger brother off telling him to motivate his older brother by getting him to study with him when it's study time (i hate to drag him in, but i have to).

When i wanted them to recite what i have just taught, the lazy boy shook his head stubbornly and lamented that he is hungry. I asked The younger twin whether they had their dinner yet and he said they did. So, that was a lame attempt in coaxing me to give them a break. The older-but-lazy boy said nothing and just just pouts as he was doing his corrections for the disastrous spelling session earlier on. Finally, when their parents came back, he realised that shit is about to hit the fan( their mom is the Disciplinary mistress in the house while the father takes a backseat) and appears to be more conscientious. But well, it's my responsibility to inform the parents of their kids progress and I when on to tell the mother what happened. I left after the sesson is up and really hope that she doesn't do much damage to her lazy son.

By the way, the older-but-lazy twin said asked me this question earlier during the lesson which i expected a long time ago. Lecturers and classmates have questioned me of my ethnicity say... for almost 2 yrs of my school life, so this came as not much of a surprise. Sometimes sales persons treat me as a loaded tourist but they have no idea i'm actually a brokeAss who's only got the last very-crumpled $5 note in my big but almost-empty wallet. When i finally uttered "This one how much ar?" they threw me a digusted look. Pure satisfaction. So here it went:

Older-but-lazy twin: Tee-cher, u chinese ar?
Me: Yes, why? *half amazed and puzzled at the same time*
Older-but-lazy twin: But you look English. *embarassed smile*
Me: *Put on a faint and tired smile*

I really wanted to tell him that my fren calls me a Russian Bitch, not just English. I'm Jayme Anna Kounikova Fuhkher, want some Vodka?

The following brief dialogue i shared with one of my colleagues at my new workplace during the 1st day of work:

S: Hi, you have mixed blood is it?
Me: Er, no. I'm a chinese. *polite smile*
S: Oh... mistaken you for a Eurasian, cause you looked mixed. *chortles*
Me: Har-har... Don't worry, i get that alot.

Yes, i've got mixed blood. 1/8th Itallian Prego sauce, 1/12th ketchup, 1/5th Tabasco and the rest would be Thai Chilli sauce. Of course, with a dash of fried shallots.

I changed that topic afterwards. Later in the day, another colleague told me that S told her that i looked like a Eurasian. Well, well... now they have something new thing to feed on their daily gossip on whether I have an Aussie mom or a Kiwi dad.

Now, i seriously doubt what's written in my IC. I need to talk to my mom about my family tree. In case i missed out on some fossil who's actually some German sausage.

2003-10-09T21:54:00.000+08:00

I started work last Sunday. It was quite a pleasant day, surprisingly. The full-timer, Janet and was showing me the ropes on how to operate the cash register, explaining the products to me and how to approach potentiual customers. It was a relatively busy day as it was Sunday where people hang out in the malls to do their shopping, families bringing their kids out for dinner, skipping the hassle to cook and wash-up after a badly cooked dinner. Once in a while, taunting howls and " neh neh nee poo poo, you cannot catch meeee..." from 7 year-olds could be heard.

Nonetheless, it was a relatively good day. I had started working for serveral days now, 3 days to be exact and I am already feeling the pressure from my boss. She expect sales to go up when her target is quite unrealistic, to be honest. I have to learn how to operate the cash register by Friday, which I'm not sure if it will happen at all. I heard a piece of shocking, rather blardy news from my co-worker on Sunday. All paychecks will only be up only the next month. And that means, workers will only be paid on November for October's salary. That is not all. All staff have to go down personally to the HQ at Aljunied to collect their paychecks. If only i have a choice, I'll rather have someone handling a gun to me. This is crap. It instantly made me less motivated to try my best to push sales and commit to the job. But well, it's still a JOB, I'll see how long i'll stick around.

2003-10-01T23:00:00.000+08:00

Listen up people, I've got earth-shattering news to share! I'm EMPLOYED. Yes!!!!!! I've have a job now!!! Finally, I have a source of income, to pay for my forever overdued handphone bills, my transportation fees, my other expenses like food, and entertainment etc... Actually, I almost did not get this job, but thank God (if there's one), i happened to flip through the Recruit section of The Straits Times and this job advertisement caught my eye. It says that this well-known retail shop is looking for a full time or part time sales assistants who are interested in working in the central, western and northern part of this tiny sunny island we're living in (assuming there's no one who is dying of boredom overseas reading about my pathetic life). The person whom they are looking for have to be 18 years and above, bilingual, have a cheerful and pleasant disposition. Well, i think that i fit in nicely (except for the cheerful, dosposition part. But i can act.) thank god that they did not state that they are looking for someone who is experienced in retailing or i'll be damned (not that i would'nt lie to get this job).

Okaay, back to the place I'll be working.

This is a well-known retail shop selling Zen-nish stuff like essential oils, sickening-smelling incense, toiletries that people buy but would not open up and use after 8 months after being purchased blah blah blah... I head straight home after reading the Ad to prepare myself for the interview which was from 1pm to 6pm. I put on one of my nicer (what i really meant was clothing that I put on without geting a disapproving look from people who know too blardy well that I'm a SLOB who wears tees with a worn-out neck and bermudas with at least 6 holes gnarled by rats.) clothes, dolled up myself and went to the shop in Raffles Place where the interview was held. I reached there around 3pm and I was pretty nervous, yet at the same time telling myself that I WILL land myself a JOB this time. Through out the train journey, i was thinking of what to say, how to react or handle tough questions if the interviewer is to be evil and decide to ask me if i know who invented or made popular those Zen-nish products. Cos... I wouldn't have a freakin clue what the answer is.

I went to down to the basement of the shopping mall but I could not find the shop. To make sure I don't make an ass out of myself by going into the wrong shop(as there are several shops selling those Zen-nish stuff as well.), I bought a copy of the papers and looked out for the Ad again. For 5 minutes before I finally found the shop, I was wondering if my condition of my senility had reached its peak and then I realised the shop where the walk-in interview is to be taken place is, in fact a subsidiary of the well-known retail shop. So, I had not went to the wrong shopping mall afterall...

I went in there and saw 2 ladies chatting behind the counter, one of them popped their heads out and greeted me. I told her that I am here for the interview and i realised that she's also here for an interview when she shaked her head and pointed to the lady at the cashier. She handed me a form to fill up, while filling up the form, I peeped at her completed form and saw her address. Drats, she's staying quite near the place that I hope i'll be posted to. I bet she's eyeing for the location i hoped to be posted to as well. BITCH. she had been sitting and chatting with the cashier before i came in and it seems that she's trying to boot-lick her so that the cashier would put in some nice words before her. I can tell she did a pretty good job as they were quite chummy. They seemed like long-lost sisters who have been apart for 20 years and were reunited at a Zen-nish store.

After I've filled up the form, I handed it to the cashier and was told that I have to wait for the manager's return for the interview. The applicant who arrived earlier than me was told the same thing and had left. Not long after, I received a call from the store and was told that the manager was back and the interview can commence. I greeted the manager and she beckoned me to follow her to a near by cafe to get things stared. She scrutinised the form I filled up earlier on and asked me a couple of questions which are pretty redundant as I have clearly stated out that I'm doing a Diploma course and what job experiences I have blah blah blah... And why I decided to take up a part-time job, I then gave her the most politically correct answer by saying that I want to gain retail experience and earn some extra money at the same time. As if. I'm only interested in the moolah.

She seemed quite satisfied with the answers I gave and gave a few approving nods (good sign). She then explained that this job requires me to explain the products and to sell them to any retards who are interested in buying cute lookin soaps, I have to be up-front and be approachable and to be "louder" (she commented that i'm quite soft-spoken). She then comfirmed the shift, working hours and the pay (altho it's not exactly impressive, at least I can afford a Mars bar.) I uttered several "Yes" followed by a few nods and then flashed my smile. Volia!!! I'm hired. I have to start work this Sunday to learn the ropes from a full-time worker there. That applicant who came earlier than me walked in on us and apologised that she was late after the manager exchanged numbers with me. I can only tell her, "Sorry, better luck next time." Actually i kinda feel sorry for her. She's older than me and from her dressing, I somehow felt that she reeeally needs this job more than I do. After the interview is over, another person came into the shop and said that she's here for the interview. It's a tough world out there...

But well, i'm the better person for this job.

I've told The Fallen Poop and Indecent about it, they seemed pretty keen and will be popping down for an interview tomorrow to see if the vacancies in the west and central are being filled yet. Good luck to them.

I can already see digits in my bank book and hear the cash register within me rings.

Munney munney here I come........

2003-09-29T16:51:00.000+08:00

I'm proud of myself. I actually just slept for 2 hours today. I really wonder what will become of me if i do this everday. I was working on the presentations from last night till the early hours this morning. I went to bed at 4.30am this morning after i'm done with that piece of shitty presentation and i woke up at 6.30am, barely 2 hours later after staring at the computer screen for more than 12 hours. I wouldn't even call it a presentation.

What is a presentation? In my opinion, it could be persuasive or even informative. The reason why i wouldn't see the piece of shit work a presentation is that i am absolutely clueless on what i'm going to present on the powerpoint slides.It consists of 7 slides and(all about external defects found in the Supreme Palace). Okay, I shall not bore you(or myself) by telling you what i have been through for the past 12 hours, doing that piece of shit work. It's like... i mean... i don't even know what causes the defects and what are the rectification works that have to be done to make good the defects.

I think i'm gonna claw my face while presenting the slides, defects indeed. On my face.

Somebody just hand me a gun. I'm sleep and $ deprived. It would be no surprise that i would just die of exhausation while i'm typing this. My phone went wonky for a few minutes. That bastard's fine now. Was doing the matrix thing a moment ago. Everyone who knows me, knows that i'm using this shit pile of electrical device that supposingly connects you to a person without seeing him in face. But my shit pile phone doesn't do that. One of its remarkable functions is that it is able to end your conversation without warning when you're speaking to a person you hate. It also happens when you're speaking to someone whom you would like to have a decent conversation with. Apparently, it still have not figured when to play dead when someone calls me.

This is what i call the Future Smart Phone.

Now i'm waiting for HF, The Fallen Poop and Complain Queen to finish their classes so that we can make our way down to take pictures of Dover MRT. Yes, for the presentation that is happening tomorrow. Yes, TOMORROW. And we still did not have the pictures YET. Being a bunch of useless fools, we have manage to out do ourselves once AGAIN by choosing an inappropriate building for our presentation. SO that means we have to start everything from scratch again.

I've said this, but i'll say it again.

THIS DAMN PRESENTATION IS SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS.

By the way, i have another which is due next Monday. Plus, the mock interview session with my Communication Skills lecturer which will be happening next Friday. And that means I have to catch up on Current Affairs of the past month within a week before the actual nightmare begins.

Do I have carefree life or what?

2003-09-29T03:43:00.000+08:00

It's already morning when i type this. God. Help. Me. It's gonna be a looooonnng day. Have to rush thru two presentations tomorrow. Honestly, i don't think the guys will complete what they have to do by tomorrow. It's not that i think they area bunch of incapable bastards or what. It's just their attutide that proved to me that they don't have an ounce of interest of what they have to do. I mean, i was the one who always take the initiative to get down to business and remind them the deadline for the powerpoint. For christ's sake, i even have to borrow digicam from my sis's bf to do this pathetic piece of shit. In the end, i have to play leader and arrange and split the presentation among those lazy assholes. I called sent those Ruins Of The Supreme Palace pictures to them online and one of them actually have the nerve to tell me that he gotta attend he's grandfather's B'day celebration today so he can't start working on it.

I hope he had a fuckin great time blowing balloons and slurpin longevity noodles.

I felt kinda bad cos i have to impose on my sis to help me to load those pictures of my school, (Supreme Palace) that is no less when compared to Rome which attract tourists around the globe, except that it has more algae-covered drains and hairline cracks all over the walls of its magnificent structure than any part of the world. That alone would make Rome crumble in shame. Almost every part of its being is plagued by corrosion and plant growth at the most unexpected places. Sometimes you would just wonder if your ear would start sprouting greens if you look at the spot of the lovely growth for too long.

Am very grateful to my sis for sacrificing her time to load those pictures especially now when she's having a hell of a time juggling work (counter wise cracks from a bunch of young assholes while spewing blood from her nostrils), and at the same time tutoring superstar-wannabe( the kid she's tutoring hopes to take up a role as a child lesbian).

Ok, i made that up.

Actually that kid wants to share the same stage with Jack Neo in Comedy Nite. Yeah, that crappy variety show that is supposingly funny. Everyone i knew who watched it, has been raving about it. "Did you watched Comedy Nite? No??? It was so farnnnnyyy..... hahahaha...."

Last week, I did catch it for about 3 minutes when i was making my way to the kitchen to get some water and i don't really find that a middle age aunty with beehive hair and a porky malay drag queen amusing enough to make me even batting an eyelid. I don't find them entertaining. At all.

Okaay, Maybe it's just me.

2003-09-26T21:57:00.000+08:00

*smacks forehead*

I just realised what a shithead i am today. I actually forgotten my dad's birthday and it's been almost a week later then it struck me that it's over. I felt guilty and i hope that i won't let it slip off my hollow head ever again to prove my senility had not seeped in yet..

Anyway, on a different note, she's back to school again. Thanks to someone who has a great influence on her and actually owns a brain, she was convinced that she still need to go through 1 1/2 years more of the elite education that she had given up barely a week ago. I'm just amazed how a person of great importance in a someone's life could make a person who was so adamant initially about the decision made could be swayed so easily by words of someone whom that person holds a high regard of. Still, i still support my friend's decision.

She's someone who uses her heart more than her head. No negative feelings here, i feel that she's a person who is very emotional and tend to do things based on her feelings and intuition more than using her rationale(which is good,sometimes). I actually admire her courage to pursue her dreams, to fight for the life she wants to live.

Sometimes in life, we just don't have the courage to fight.

For what we believe is right, something or someone who is precious to us, or for the passion that actually keeps us alive.

2003-09-22T17:49:00.000+08:00

Okaayyy.....

I just changed my templates after putting it off for such a long time.

It better NOT disappear AGAIN.

Or I'll stab myself.

NOTE: To all readers(actually there's like only... 3 miserable souls including myseif) , i don't give a shit if you like my new layout or not. So, don't start your bitchin'.

Thank you.

2003-09-22T16:38:00.000+08:00

Shitty stuff happened lately (well, all the time) Here's something that made me laugh out loud besides reading the answers that i that i scribbled on my test scripts. Maybe you'll enjoy it, have a little laugh.

There you go :

Billy Connolly on "Things I hate about everybody...."

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my trousers fly when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". F*cking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the f*ck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people really do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No, you dick-head, I paid 15 dollars to come to the movies to stare at the f*cking floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the f*ck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever f*cking does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, Knobhead?

10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?

11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.

13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It's has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger get blank looks...........Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it up your McArse you McF*cking Mcdickhead.

14. When you involved in a accident and someone asks "are you alright?"... "Yes, I'm fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off then"

2003-09-17T11:21:00.000+08:00

Click
here to take the test.

This is a crappy test, inaccurate (at least to me).
Take it if you feel like it.

2003-09-12T13:27:00.000+08:00

This song is a reflection of myself for the past month.

Iris

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yhea you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I'm back.

2003-08-12T18:16:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to meet Indecent Mascara yesterday for lunch to pass her notes on MBW, but i did not met up with her because somthing cropped up. I was kinda disappointed as i have dig out those THICK pile of notes the previous night just to bring it to her yesterday. I was FOAMING when i saw those notes that i've not touched since last semester.. Bad memories. Nope, i'm not blardy pissed. Just disappointed. Being the ever-absent minded moron that i am, i did'nt not bring my brick phone to school, thus i could not get hold of her. I used my friend's phone to call her, but she did not pick up.

Later in the evening, she messaged me to explain herself and tell me that she's sorry and even told me that she'll drop by my house to get it from me personally. I told her it's a crayzee idea cos she lives at the East end of S'pore and i live in the North. That's like telling a someone who lives in Germany to stop by Vietnam for a couple of hours to have Pho and fly back. I reassured her that it's ok but she still have this feeling that i'm pissed at her. Silly girl. I'll be talking to her to convince her that i'm really not mad at her.

Anyway, my sis plunged into a cookie craze as she baked alot, i mean really alot of walnut cookies yesterday. Some are stiff, some are bitter. Bitter? why? well, becos, walnuts are have a slight bitter taste. She didn't add enough sugar in the first batch. Most of em are fine though. coincidentally, The Fallen Poop baked some peanut cookies for Sha, HF and me today. It's HF's birthday. I love her cookies, especially her peanut cookies. It just melts in your mouth.

Pure Sin.

Will be having some on my way to the Twins' house later.

Bleh, tuition.

I can already picture myself saying, "NO, it's La-h Jee-iaw....." As you can guess( i bet you dunno) it's "chilli" in Chai-neeze. Yes, we're in studying all types of vegetables that can be found in Planet Earth.

Healthy innit?

2003-08-04T20:54:00.000+08:00

Being the ever irritating sister that i am, once again i borrowed money from my sister for my bills. Yes, i'm that Yam Kong. Yam Kong means PATHETIC SOUL/POOR THING in Cantonese, by the way. So next time if you really really, feel that someone really deserves your sympathy, you can say "yamkongyamkongyamkongyamkongyamkong" to that person who has the same jinxed life as me. It has the same effect of saying "ohhhh, you poooor thinnng...." Really.

And i do not have to sell my kidneys afterall.

Anyway, i talked to my supervisor today and agreed that working with N on the blardy FYP is the best solution, since my topic can't be done. Actually i'm quite relieved that it's finally more or less settled.

*sigh*

Well, it's not the end of the world. Yet. And i have a few more months before it's due. Goodlucktomegoodlucktomegoodlucktomegoodlucktome.

Muahahahahhaha..... You actually think that everything's gonna be well? Just you see.

Watch this space.

2003-07-31T11:52:00.000+08:00

Talked to the M1 customer officer just now. Nice voice. Anyway, i called up to ask why my line has not been reconnected yet and he told me that i have to clear my current bill before my line could be restored.

Damn it.

I asked him why is that so because from past experiences, M1 has always been kind enough to bring my outstanding balance to the next month as long i have paid the bill partially. He then went on to explain that since i've not paid my bill within before the 26th(i paid my bill on the 28th), my line was not restored. Which i don't understand WHY. Does the number 26 sounds better than 28, or does it in any way has an auspicious meaning to it? I don't know.

I asked him when can i have my blardy line back and if i could pay part of it first, so that i can actually make outgoing calls without having a female robotic voice booming in my ear telling me that i have yet to pay my overdue bill and if i don't not do so, they will feed me with live lizards. After which, we agreed that if i could pay the rest of the bill by Monday, my line will be reconnected. He told me that he would make an exception for me. It was very nice of him, i forgot to ask for his name. So let's just name him Mr Nice Voice. I thanked Mr Nice Voice and hung up. Knowing that Singaporeans are blardy highly efficient, i dialled my house number to check if my line was reconnected as promised.

You know what?

It did. My house phone rang.

I sat down on my bed and wonder how shall i pay my bill...

Maybe i have to sell my one of my kidneys... Left one or the right one?

2003-07-28T19:34:00.000+08:00

Ok, something good came out of a Blardy Munnndae. Looks like there's God afterall.. hehe..

2003-07-28T18:22:00.000+08:00

Bad news. I did'nt get the job that i desperately needed. Guess i have to call up all tuition agencies of the entire nation. Oh.... how i look forward to look at those Rug-rats... Actually i do have students now, but they're not paying enuff.

They are a pair of lurrvely twins. Yes, identical twins. I can tell them apart cos the elder boy(Abang to everybody in his family) has a left parting, while the younger one(cuter one. Most of the time, smarter one) sports a crew cut and has a beauty spot on his left cheek. These 2 boys have very different personalities. Abang is a very emotional, perfection-seeking, layyzee kid. The Cute One is a happy-go-lucky kid, which i think helped him greatly in his learning.

I'm teaching them Chinese, funny that they wanna master the language, cos they're Malays. I suppose their parents are jumping on the bandwagon to Learn-even-though-you're-not-chinese phenomenon.They're really cute boys, sometimes i just wanna laugh out loud and pinch their cheeks when they tend to pronounce chinese words with a Malay accent. "It's not Muaaawww dou yeeng, it's Maoooo tou ying." That's how you pronounce "Owl" in Chinese by the way... Ah, and don't forget the sound of it. Having learning the language since young, i know that there are 4 pitches in all pronounciations of every chinese word. But the boys will never get them right no matter how many times i pronounce the words over and over again. It's either i'm a LAU-SEEY teacher or they just can't bring themselves to pronounce that sounds as evilish as the CHINESE LANGUAGE. I think it's the former one tho...

Anyway, i'm doomed.

My project is STAGNANT. I left a note to my supervisor earlier today,hopefully we can sit down and discuss where do i go from ZERO. I need some good news. Something to cheer me up, something positive at least.

2003-07-27T23:51:00.000+08:00

Spent the whole day in the house. Doing nothing constructive. Sigh, i know... i'm the worst piece of shit these days... Found out that something's wrong with my line, i can't send messages out. (i can't call out cos i've not paid my bill yet, but i paid partially... so.... maybe that's their way of punishing me :P )

Anyway, i hope my fren's mom will be up and ok, she suffered from a minor stroke today. Don't really know what to say, i'll just pray and hope things will be better. Made me sit right up and think about what i've done to myself for the past yr... draggin on cig... is it a sign to stop? I dunno.

Goodnite to everybody and goodnite to myself.

2003-07-25T22:29:00.000+08:00

God Put A Smile On Your Face

You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don't give a damn,but it's
everyone else's fault if you don't because
you're too awesome to have any real faults.

What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-07-25T18:34:00.000+08:00

My blardy-fake-brown-in-colour-leather sandals' strap snapped. Again. Why do i say again? That is because, it snapped after the second day of the purchase when i was walking near the gates of the MRT station when it snapped. Needless to say, i went back home to change. Luckily, the MRT is about 15 mins away from my house still, i was late for my lecture that morning. I thought that it was darn unfortunate, so i went back to the store and changed for a brand new pair. I did not tell the sales girl off as she was quite friendly when i approached her about the sandals.

In the store, i asked her whether i am able to get a refund and she told me "No, you cannot have refund one..." Fine. I asked her if i could change for another pair of sandals or heels for the same price(or another pair which requires me to top up the balance sum if it costs more than the sandals i bought yesterday). *shakes her head* "Cannot.." I couldn't believe it. The reason i wanted to change for another pair of sandals or heels of another design is becos i simply have no faith or whatever so that the sandals of the same design i bought earlier on can last me thru the week. But being a very understanding customer, i did not kick up a huge fuss. Shortly after, i was given a new pair of the sandals. This time, i inspected very carefully. I scrutinised the sandals for about a minute or so and told her, "I really hope that i can change a pair of sandals of another design because the stud that holds the leather straps together are being fastened very close to the edge." But, i was disappointed again. "But all the sandals are like that." After sayin this, she twisted and tugged at the sandals strap, hoping that the stud will magically shift it's position to the centre of the strap. Of course, the stud did not budge at all. Finally, after using some common sense, she realised that it's not possible and went in back to the store room and got me a new pair. Not wanting to persue the matter anymore, i went out of the store with The Fallen Poop. After steppin outta the store, The Fallen Poop said,"Next time if it snap again, come back here and throw the sandals back at her face." Now, who's the Evil one.

But it happened today again, this time, it snapped because an old cow behind me stepped an my sandals when she was trying very hard vying for a seat in the train. That really set me off. I glared at her with steam escapin thru my nostrils and she muttered, "sorree...sorree..." I sat down and cursed under my breath. I was right anyway. I told The Fallen Poop that i'm seeing this whole thing as a form of charity act on the day that i brought the sandals to the store to change. I'm a samaritan, check out the Halo above me. I won't be patronising that store again, I'm none too happy with the superior quality of the shoes they have over there. Assholes.

2003-07-21T23:22:00.000+08:00

ok, i finally i did it. After so many years of putting it off. I feel acomplished! It's beautiful.

2003-07-15T22:49:00.000+08:00

I'm still in the state of shock. I can't think properly. I never thought that my Ugly past would catch up with me that fast. In the most unexpected situation. Most unlikely place. Among the most unlikely group of people. But it DID happened. I saw a Primary sch classmate this evening at Coffee Bean sittin with The Fallen Poop's friends when i was supposed to enjoy my heavenly Ice-blended Chai Latte with The Fallen Poop. I was'nt prepared. I'm not prepared to see him at all. I was in a state of shock for about 3/4 of the time where we sat at the same table. I suddenly remembered alot of things i would rather forget. Bad memories. I realised i was in the Tuff Club once. For those who don't have a freakin clue what a Tuff Club is, It's a club for overweight children who thinks, eats, love, breathe chocolate. No, you don't have to pay a membership fee to join and enjoy the exclusive rights to run like a mad dog or skip like an Energizer Bunny in the basketball court during recess time and be expected to feel full when ALL you can put into your mouth after all those ridiculous amount of running and skipping is a soggy sardines or hard-boiled egg sandwich which leaves a nasty aftertaste in your mouth that you would immediately forget the hunger or desire to put food into your mouth for the next 18 hours. Needless to say, i was being denied the right to run or skip during my recess time and have awful tasting sandwiches after i shed 1/4 of what i used to weigh after a year of intensive . They withdrew my membership.

Heartless.

Anyway, it was kinda awkward cos i was feelin kinda tired and was not putting in much effort in making a conversation with him. I don't know what to say to him. Now it just feels weird sitting across him when we used to hang out and play Badminton, practice our track and field events whenever Sports Day arrives.

*sigh*

Maybe it's God's way of reminding me that i should never , ever be FAT again. But my sis just told me tat she bought Tomato-flavoured Twisties for me. Even the biggest idiot knows that by eating Twisties at night would not help you to lose weight in any way. I decided to eat it anyway. I'll gonna be in Hell for that.

2003-07-14T23:56:00.000+08:00

I am not feeling moody today. No signs of MunnnDae Blues. Funny. Took a listen to Indecent's demo and feel that she really has the potential. Feel damn excited and happy for her! Hope things will go well for her :) Maybe i'm feelin all cheery cos i end my classes earlier than my classmates. Total bitch i am.

Saw a little girl with her grandfather (i suppose) in the train on the way back. Cute but a little tad annoying. But that's the way kids are anyway. Sometimes the latter is more obvious than the former.

Anyway, this little girl is singin a chinese song (one of those that you'll get to sing when you're in those dumb nurseries). "Wei, wei ,wei, ni zai na li aaar? Wo, wo, wo, wo zai you er yuan....." Loosely translated in English : "Hellooo(3x) where are you? I, (3X) I'm in the nursery." The whole song is about 2 stupid dolls on a phone conversation. When kids sing this i think they truly believe that there is another person (or doll) at the other end of the line. As a pretty cynical kid(look, i do not have any control over this at all), i DON'T believe in any kiddo songs that i sang. Never. But i kinda like one particuliar song which goes

"Lavender's blue dilly dilly lavender's green... When you're King dilly dilly, i shall be Queen..."

Ok. *Raises both hands up* I'm ashamed.

Anyway, she was singin that Chinese Nursery Song really loud and her Grandfather(i suppose) corrected her. "No, you should sing Wei, wei, wei i'm in the M-Ar-Tee..." Now that really cracked me up. Was tryin to keep a straight face and suppress guffaws that wanted to escape so very badly like an untied full-blown balloon which is carelessly released after it's being blown by a kid with fat fingers. I'm not the only one. The guy standing at the doors is guilty of that too. In fact the passengers in the whole cabin find it amusing. Only the girl's oblivious of her comedic ability. She went on and on. With the wrong lyrics. After a showcase of some talented singing ability with wrong lyrics, they got off a few stops before me. Maybe her parents could consider having their daughter dressed up as some milkmaid from Holland and enter her into those below 15 children singing competition, like the one that is on Channel 8 on every Saturdays (As if i would be entertained to listen to kids whinning and cash-strapped contestants choosing a number to a selection of boxes to win cold hard cash.) Get a life.

Got back home, called my ex-supervisor up and told him that i need his help to do my research on my FYP. I asked him if he's available on Wednesday, after lunch time (which is after 2pm) is a good time and he said ok. Great. Everything seems to go well. Nothing seems to be gettin in the way. Yet.

Watched Holland V earlier on.. I'm hooked. This is the only TV show that i look forward to get my butt rooted to the red-and-very-wrinkled sofa everyday after i get back from school, and of course the Bachelorette too! Throw in some Fear Factor too! Don't really watch the Amazing Race nowadays. The reason is.... They don't have Ken-lookin ' identical twins anymore. Only bald men. That kinda lost it's appeal for me.

*na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-nahhhhh.....* That's how the theme song for Holland V goes in the begining.(Viewers of holland V will noe. If you did'nt notice this before. Sit up straight and open your ears when the show starts.) I sang this the entire afternoon and it SURE irritate the hell outta my sis. I did a macho rendition of it by Nah-nah-ing in a grizzly bear voice. Sexay.

Oh yeah, i can have the famous Nasi lemak when i go down to the office where i used to do my attachment in Tanjong pagar on Wed!!! *Rubs both hands in glee*

"Nasi Lemak with lotsa chilli please... i don't want the fried fish, ah...*nods* i want the luncheon meat."

BURPPPP.....Ahhh....*Rubs swollen stomach in satisfaction*

2003-07-11T21:44:00.000+08:00

Finally, it's Friday. But there's nothin to be happy about. I have to go to school tomorrow for a briefing regarding the FYP (Final Year Project). I don't have any project mates. I'm doin it all alone. Now you must be thinkin," This gal's crayzee... Is she outta her mind??? How can she handle it alone???" Well, i'm not exactly crazy. I just prefer to do this alone. I could not do this with my friends as i have opted for a diferent option (course of study) from the gals ( The Fallen Poop and Indecent Mascara). I thought i could actually do this project with another friend, but i realised that he's not as committed towards the project as i do, so hence i decided to do it myself.

So, yeah... Allllllll byeeeeee muhhhhhsellllfff........ (Sorry, Celine. Could'nt help it.)

I'm actually quite happy with the way that things turned out. I would'nt want to screw up my FYP annnnd... put a strain on the friendship btwn me and my friend, cos i'm sure there will be lotsa problems evolving from the FYP in the future if we work together.

Anyway, i looked up my project supervisor, Mrs Ti this evening. I discussed with her about the content of my project and i was told that since i'm workin on it alone, i'm only expected to come out with an 8000-word long of a study regarding the role of Project Managers in Singapore.

I almost fainted.

Well, i should have expected that all along.*shrugs* this is what expected of a Poly student.

I guess i better step on it now. From past experiences i gathered, PROCRASTINATION..........is evil

You always think that you can manage to get things done after puttin it off several weeks away, tellin yourself that you'll start on it once you have the mood or inspiration to do what you ought to do. But in the end, you'll just find yourself panicking and speed up the rate you're workin and end up with endless of serious glitches.

How do i know? It's simple. I do that alot. Most the time i must add.So now, i'm gonna tell myself, "Start on it early, don't wait till the last minute and do a lousy job. You're not gonna let procrastination take over!!! Don't you dare screw this up!" Did i mentioned that i intend to work on my very flabby arms that jiggle whenever i wave or my jumbo thighs would weep whenever Cameron Diaz's Coppertone-ed glistened body is on screen.
Yes, *sheepishly*i still have not been workin out. So you can imagine the evil wonders of procrastination.

Right. After i've blogged, i'm gonna start on my research.

*rubbing my hands with much excitement*

Hope this enthusiasim does'nt wear off. Not at least after the weekend :P

2003-07-09T16:20:00.000+08:00

ICE is your chinese symbol!

What Chinese Symbol Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-07-07T17:00:00.000+08:00

It's over. I'm back in school again. I'm done with my Industrial Attachment on Saturday... I won't say i missed school but one thing for sure, i feel that i'm quite relieved that it's finally over. Going back to school snoozin' during lectures and rushing late tutorials is better than staring at the computer screen in the office ALL the time, that is when i do not have to go out and do verification checks of the schools scattered all over S'pore. I got an "A" in my overall grading. He wrote in some pretty nice comments too.

This is what he wrote : "Jayme has a very good working attitude, willing and able to pick up new assignments. She was also able to face challenges and resolve them and continuied with her assignment."

Good Working attitude? Willing?I'm not so sure about this. He must have missed out on my bitchin' when i'm out on a blardy HOT day being turned away by those Bastards. Face challenges? Didn't really faced any except those with the OMs. Gosh, he made me sound as though i made the HULK cryin on his knees when he's pissed. He's lucky. Lucky that he gave me an "A". Or he would have gotten a kick in the head. But honestly i'm grateful that i got an "A" cos i thought that he would have gave me a "B" as he had given us (all 4 attachment students) a "B" for the past 7 weeks for our weekly progress. Altho he's blur, he's nice. God Bless Him.

New digital thermometers were handled out to us in exchange of the old mercury ones that they have given us during the examination period. They finally realised they're real Cheapos. Those blardy mercury thermometers that are handed out almost have the characteristics of a Chindogu Maybe not all but at least one. Useless. It just can't take the temperature accurately. I once have my temperature read : 34.6 Degree Celsius. So that makes me a dead corpse with a lousy thermometer hangin outta my mouth.

In case you are wonderin' what the hell is a Chindogu, a Chindogu is an useless Japanese invention. Sometimes, i just wonder ,"What the HELL were they thinking???" Not to mention their quirky dress sense. Too much raw fish, maybe.
Check em out : http://home.bawue.de/~jtesch/chindogu.html

The black lanyards that all SP students used to wear are exchanged for new purple ones. Purple. Well, at least it's not yellow or somethin hideous like pink. The reason for the change is to keep track of the students whereabouts. Which is pretty dumb. All different Schools have different colours and Purple is the colour for staff and students in the School Of Built Environment. Not sure what are the other colours for the other Schools tho... Wondered who wears Green. *scrunches face* We were told that we have to take our temperatures twice a day. Once in the morning and another in the evening. Crap. But i guess i have to get used to it. We can do our temperature checks via the Net and SMS. Cool. The SMS service better be free though....

Today's my sister's B'day. Happy 22th Birthday!!! Told her that i'm sorry that i can't get her anything now but i can be sure that she'll get it before the end of this month. But then again, that girl has almost everthing but a JOB. Since she don't lack anything.... i don't really have no idea what to get her.

Anyway, Happy Birthday.. and invest in some good eye creams.

2003-06-30T23:00:00.000+08:00

Ok, my templates are back. I'll kill myself if they go missing again.

2003-06-30T01:11:00.000+08:00

Great.I lost all my lousy templates.Cheers.

2003-06-30T00:03:00.000+08:00

I had an affair in my bathroom today. A painful one. It involved a maroon-coloured toilet bowl. Imagine a big fat penguin falling on its ass on the glacier and you'll get the picture. I fell on my butt when i was trying to get into my shorts after a shower. It sounds really silly but it sure happened. I'm not sure how it happened, I was putting my left foot into my shorts when i lost my footing and landed with a thud on the slippery bathroom tiles and the back of my head hit an unfortunate spot. The toilet bowl. (not the opening where you normally take your shit in the mornings, it's the footing of the whole magnificent structure.) The pain is EXCRUCIATING. I fell so hard on the floor that i just clutched the back of my head, shut my eyes and try to find the most appropriate swear word that i can think of. I could think of none. The pain at the back of my head was spreading like a drop of paint in a tub of water. It subsided after a while and i continued to get into my shorts. That DARN pair of shorts.

Anyway, met up with the Fallen Poop today to pass her B'day pressie. No, it's not Porn. Could'nt burn it for her anyway. My CD writer's not really as co-operative as a thought. So, Indecent Mascara and i decided to get her CK One, the latest brainchild from CK. It smells nice, gives you a refreshing feeling when you wear it. She's really happy to receive it, which is actually quite a relief for me cos she has got preety 'sophisticated" taste. Anything that is too 'expensive' and she will snub you with her Virginal slims. We have a great time catching up in Coffee Club in Taka and dinner is wonderful! Fallen Poop did not have anything except a mocha cos her family will have a dinner at some restaurant later in the evening as a B'day celebration for her as well as her li'll sis. Think i'll come back for more Pasta if i ever have any cravings for some decent-tasting spaghetti. (which i think will occur in the next 48 hrs.) Indecent Mascara couldn't make it the last minute saying she has a headache, puking and all.... Too bad she can't join us. Hope she will get well soon :)

I went home at 8 just in time to catch Leslie Cheung's last movie that he made before he ended his life in April. Nice movie, but not as scary i have expected to be... The girl-ghost is not very realistic-looking as well. Do a better job next time, Make-up artist... The show is already ending and he is still in one piece. My sis is sayin, "How come did'nt jump one? I thought they say he jumped to his death because he did that in the show?" He did'nt jump in the end. Crap. I was about to turn in when i found a big bump at the back of my head. It still hurts but not as bad as in the noon. Now i can really groove to the beat of P.Diddy's collaboration with B2K. BUMP BUMP BUMP.

2003-06-22T14:31:00.000+08:00

Rackin my brains now.......* squishy brain churnin' like a washin machine*.......... The Fallen Poop's birthday is comin... Dunno what to get her. Since i'm broke, the thought of hiring any scrawny-lookin-pasty-white or golden-tanned-glistened-in-coppertone male strippers is out. What can i say? That gal has extreme taste. It could be a jap-lookin guy sufferin from eatin-disorder or some macho-lookin merry gays that satisfy her LUST.

How about clothes? I don't really know what cut suits her. She did mentioned the Miss Selfridge's skirt she saw the other day, but that series will soon be passe in a couple of week's time. That would'nt do.

How about a pair of boots that she wanted very much? For God's sake it's not Milan here, there's no way you can wear em and not look cray-zee.

How about perfume? I don't know how she wanna be smelled like.

Watch? She wants a very lowly-priced Tag Heuer. I'll let her Dad have the honour of gettin it for her.

Accessories? she don't really wears any. Cds? I've been d/l songs for her, but she did mentioned that she wanna get that Mariah Carey's album, not sure if she had gotten it already... Maybe....

Forget it, i would NEVER buy a cow's album, not even it's HER birthday. Let's see what she likes.....

Anything associated with Lucy Liu, Antonio Banderas, Kangta or Queen Latifah will be a good. What about beauty products? She's been complaining how bad she needs to visit to get a facial. But i have no idea what suits her skin. She WILL kill me if she break out in hives. Or what about a nice dinner? But where?

Shit, this is givin me a splittin headache.

Think i'll just burn porn for her. It's a safe bet, would'nt go wrong.

It's Porn anyway.

(Anyone who can think of anyhing, (or better) besides Porn can drop their suggestions in the ChatBox. Meanwhile i think which Third-grade Porn to d/l Thanks....)

2003-06-20T21:10:00.000+08:00

You can eat (or steal) other peoples souls. Sweet!

What is your hidden talent
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-06-19T18:54:00.000+08:00

Angry will be an understatement. Mad will be inappropriate. Annoyed is not the word. Pissed-as-hell sounds too rude.

Alrite ,let's settle with fuckin-fuming-fury. Nice, i like. F.F.F. Went to those bloody schs again this morning. "No big deal" I told myself. "Since i do this almost every other shitty day, i might as well take it in a good spirit, do a good job and try not to behave like i'm havin PMS. But unfortunately, (as usual), things don't go as well as i thought it would be.

My 1st stop was Chokeful Pri Sch. Don't worry, it's not a stupid typo error. I named it Chokeful (it sounds almost the same) as as i fear that it will be planted with fart bombs of some terrorist the next day this goes out. Ok, what about Chokeful Pri? Chokeful Primary is a wonderful sch. I can proudly say it's architectural design is world class. It looked so posh that i almost mistook it for an old chinese temple. I entered through the blue rusty front gate which anybody would have thought that it belonged to the scrap metal hill up on the great Mount. Ulu where cars are depreciated till the very last cent, no longer have any aesthetical value and will be de-faced by their cash-tight owners. I have no idea why the sch is designed in a way that i can't see anybody from the entrance. Only moving clay 3cm-tall figurines. You know, those animated clay-like talkin figurines you see on the Levi's tv ad a few years back which possess the malleability characteristic of plastercine.

Actually, i'm wrong. The figures i saw are not plasticine figures. They are actually human. You go figure the distance from the entrance to the General Office. Stuck the ear thermometer into my wax-filled ear, 36.9 degree celsieus. Healthy. Filled up that declaration form and stepped into the General Office. Air-con is godsend.

I asked for the OM. For those who don't have a friggin' idea who an OM/Operation Manager is, in general, he is an ex-police officer who makes sure the monkeys in sch don't skip classes, do not have dyed hair, do not have a stud in any other parts of your body except the ears (not more than one on each ear lobe), do not sneak a drag in the filthy toilets, or show any behaviour of defiance. All of what i've committed in my oh-so useful secondary sch education for some lousy 4 years. Which brings me to the question: What the HELL happened to those Discipline Masters/Mistresses who taunted us in our secondary schs? I wondered.

After explaining the purpose of showing my ass here and which pathetic government board i'm serving, the lady behind the counter said to me," He's not around. He'll only be back on Monday. He's on leave, it's sch holiday anyway."

I felt like grabbin her by her turkey neck, shake out her eye balls and leave her flingin' her hands wildly in the air, gaspin' for oxygen.

*flashin my smile* "It's ok, I'll come back on next week then."

Left Chokeful Primary Sch. With a tear on my left cheek.

Nevermind. I told myself, it's ok, i'll go to the next sch. At least i'll get somethin done today.

*Dum dee dee dum dee*I skipped merrily to the entrance of Bitchy Sec sch. Again, for those slow-minded, it's not the real name of the sch. But it rhymes anyway.

Obtained a visitor's pass at the gate after fillin up the delaration form and proceeded to the General Office.*knock knock* Opened the door and approached Mr Turban who sat nearest at the entrance. I named him Mr Turban because he is a COMPLETE ASSHOLE, not just because he is a Sikh. So all Sikhs who wanna pelt me with eggs, forget it. Save it for the cakes.

Mr Turban: *scrutinised me from head to toe" Yes, what do you want?

Me: Hi, I'm XXX from XXX and i'm here to do some verification checks in this sch. Can i see the OM of the sch please?

Mr Turban: I'm the OM, what is it that you want? Where are you from again?

Me: I'm from XXX.

Judging from experience, i can tell he's not the least convinced. I took out the letter from my brown paper pocket file which my supervisor told me will come in handy in case someone wants some assurance i'm not some fart bomb terrorist tryin to make the students of chokeful Pri to die of excessive pungent gas while they're practicing chinese dance with their mouldy yet frilly red cloth fans. Like in this case.

It seems like the students of the early 60s in Singapore are deprived of an education that actually teach them the human brain can understand words without reading them ALOUD.

*Begun to read the letter aloud in a sing-song fashion* blah blah blah......

Mr turban: "But you should have called up. I'm not in charge of that. I'm in charge of the displinary and HE is in charge of the problems in the estate aspect.

Me:So is there anyway you can help me with this? I just need the layout of the sch and the location of each block so that i can identify the missing blocks in our system.

Mr turban: You see, you should have called. You should have made an appoinment with him and tell him you will be here to do some verification checks. Or you could have sent us a letter. You should be aware of the situation now. It's for security measures, with SARS and the world wide problem. You just can't can't come in here, show us a letter and say that you are here to do some checks.

Me: Yes, i understand....

(tryin' to stop the furore from growing) but please try to understand, that we can't possibly type and send letters to every fuckin schs we're gonna visit. You see, the trees are gonna cry, you don't wanna see trees flowin with stinky sap that can is enough to drown our lil' sunny island do you? And i'm only doin attachment for 2 mths! 2 FUCKIN mths, so don't expect me to type letters for 2 whole fuckin mths as you can see, we are expected to cover a list of schs that is almost as looooong as Santa's wish list from children from the entire universe. And by the time we're done with the typin, we've not even started with the stamp-lickin! Get it Turban head?!?!?!? DO YOU FUCKIN GET ME? *fumes escapin thru my nostrils*

Of course, i did not fuckin said that. It was just swimmin in my head. I thought that was the end. But hell, no. It's only gettin better.

After the unhappy episode, he gave me the number of the other OM and i thanked that bearded bastard and was about to leave and this happened:

Mr Turban: Where's your visitor's pass?

*fished out the lanyard from my left pocket and left it hanging between my fingers, swingin the damn thing in his face left n right for 28 times*

Mr Turban:You should have worn it and displayed it at all times when you're in the sch premises.*scowling*

I thought by showing him that i did actually obtain a pass will satisfy his Mr School Master behaviour, so i began to coil up the lanyard and was about to put it in my pocket when Mr Turban said:

I just told you that you have to put it on at ALL times and now you're keepin it away.*eyes bulgin*

Me: But i'm goin out now!(could'nt believe this)

I'm not a sec 2 student, don't try to intimidate me you muthafucker!

Mr Turban: But you're still within the sch premises! What if somebody sees you around without the pass and question me? I'll be the one in trouble you know?

So it's all about coverin your own ass huh? Pathetic Bastard.

Me: Ok, (still puttin on my fuckin smile) Thanks, Mr Singh. I'll call Mr Foo again.

With that, I left Bitchy Sec Sch. With a very very foul mood. At that point, even anything from Eminem or Marilyn Manson will sound sweet to me. You can imagine.
*Attention To all passengers, due to a technical fault, this train will terminate at Ang Mo Kio. Passengers going towards Yishun, Woodlands please transfer to another train at Platform A. Thank you.*

By this time, my mood could be matched with a raging bull, i almost feel like takin over the mike and shout my lungs out and drown the whole station with my saliva. ARRRGHHHH..... the ever fucked-up train service that we can ALWAYS count on with oh-so-excellent service broke down and i've to wait and make a transit to board another train. It's ok, to have technical faults, it's even ok for the train to de-rail ,but NOT today. Just don't fuckin tell me that i can't sit thru my journey without any stupid cock-ups.

Guess all OMs are having their holiday in Iraq. Hope you'll be burned in hell, fuckers. Enjoy.....

2003-06-17T23:46:00.000+08:00

Thought of robbing a bank today. Was in a dilemma between Standard Chartered and Citibank. You see, both banks have classy image and their adverts are nice too. I smell money. Was discussin with The Fallen Poop which one to rob during my lunch time. No, no.... I'm not gonna have those 3-for-$10 kind of smelly stockings pulled over my face at the counter. That's unglam. I will make a grand entrance with a leather bag and tell the lady behind the counter " Hi, gd afternoon, i would'nt hurt you just do as i say. Drop all cash into this bag now, don't try to pull any tricks and activate the alarm system or i'll burst your head with my very lethal kung-fu kicks. And yes, i'm a robber. Now! Put your hands up."

*followed by shrilly shrieks of those tai-tais who wanna deposit $ after they made a killing durin the weekend mahjong session*

After i got what i want, i made a quick exit with wind blowing my hair, like they always do in the movies.
(note: my hair is still in place)
Just when i thought i can get away with it, suddenly......

A strong hand gripped my left shoulder."Not so fast lady." A sexaaay voice boomed. I turned around, a model-lookin security guard took me by the hand and place it onto his king kong chest. "listen, co-operate with us, and i would'nt hurt you. I promise." I looked into his mesmerising gaze and i found myself
melting away like a Strawberry ice-cream in India. I held out my hands and he handcuffed me with such care and gentleness that i almost wanted to help him with it.

"It's made with satin, so that it'll not hurt your delicate wrist, may i have the pleasure to escort you our criminal cell that we have specially reserved for classy, slick, and smooth lady criminals like you?" He extended his left hand and led me to a silver porsche that is barely a week old in Germany. I slumped onto the caramel leather seats and found lotsa strawberries and buckets of champagne in the backseat that is enough to feed the entire China. Considering most of em would'nt know what that strange lookin' fruit is, it's enough, they would'nt wanna pop one in their mouths anyway. The siren is on. Not those usual kind. It doe'snt have that annoyin whinny sound to it. It's a siren which is specially re-mixed. The Smooth Criminal Version. It's not bad, i'm boppin my head to the music and helpin myself with the strawberries and champagne. With the stem removed by a hunky police officer of course.

Me:"Thank you"

Hunky officer:"No, not at all, it's my pleasure. Is it sweet enough? Is the champagne chilled at the right temperature for you?

Life's good. This how i wanna be busted. In style.

But, Indecent Mascara, you have not given me the plan of the bank. And The Fallen Poop, which bank should i choose?

*eenie miney menee mo...*

As you had probably guessed, yes, i'm still broke. Very.

2003-06-13T21:58:00.000+08:00

Told ya not to hold it. It's bad for health, not yours but the whole world's. Our brains are fried. It's just unhealthy. Look, there will be a time you have to hold and a time you just have to go WOOOSH... Let it all out in intervals in small amount each time. You know what i mean? See, what you do is wrong. You just can't hold it in for over a month and release your terrible flow like a gushing faucet and go pissin' all over us when you feel like it. Don't go dry for many weeks and pee like crazy at one shot! You know what? You are quite amazin. You can pee for almost the whole day and not havin to empty your bladder for the next 3 weeks!

You probably think it's fun, don't cha? Just when i'm hangin out my laundry on a beautiful sunny day and when you do what you always like to do, i'll have to wear moldy-smellin' clothes for the rest of the week. Just because you can't hold it. Please don't pee on us when i just wanna get ourselves a packet of chicken rice on a lazy sunday afternoon and have to eat Maggi mee for lunch instead. You love to see me scurryin' like a mouse tryin to stay dry when you know very well that i don't have a habit of havin a brolly all the time.

Ok, i'm sure we'll be able to resolve it amicably right? C'mon, let's be friends.

Why not like this, you CAN pee whenever i'm indoors, when i don't feel like goin out. When i have a nice book to read or just feel plain lazy, not steppin outta my house. When my laundry's sun-kissed. When i've returned to my air-conditioned after i bought my lunch back. Note, NOT before, or during, but AFTER i've sat down on my ugly green armchair shovellin' food down my throat. You can even sprinkle a few drops when i'm asleep. I really would'nt mind. Other then that, please practise some self-control when the situation calls for it.
Don't be such an annoyin prankster.
No objections? Deal.

2003-06-12T18:34:00.000+08:00

It's a cloudy day today. Not quite used to it after havin BLARDY hot weather that u can fry an egg up on your ass for such a loong time. If you can't probably tell by now, i'm PISSED. Damn PISSED. Why? Becos i've not get my pay yet. And it's not the 1st time this happened to me, this exact senario happened to me the last attachment. Maybe they LOVE to do a Re-enactment.

I SERIOUSLY NEED MONEY. CAN YOU HEAR ME XXX, MY BELOVED EMPLOYER??? Did'nt we S'poreans pride ourselves to be super-efficient in watever we do??? Then WHY is that when i checked my bank acc balance at the ATM this afternoon that i still hav $3.13 starin back at me? Good question. I tell u WHY. It is becos some moron in the FINANCE DEPT had so conveniently 'FORGOTTEN" to process our paychecks. Or, or, for some STUPID reason, they might have banked in the cheque to someone else who did'nt have to toil under the blazin hot sun or smile at some sonofabitch to get his dirty job done. Or maybe, they could hav lost my zapped copy of bank passbook with my acc no. RITE? RITE?

I NEED THE MOOLAH OR STHG THAT HAS MONETARY VALUE TO PAY OFF MY HP BILLS THAT I'VE BEEN HOLDIN UP FOR 3 MTHS, 3 WHOLE FRIGGIN MTHS!!! I NEED TO GET SOME NEW CLOTHES ON MY BACK SO I CAN ACTUALLY GO OUT WITHOUT FEELIN LIKE A COMPLETE SLOB! I NEED MY PAY DESPERATELY SO THAT I CAN ACTUALLY NOT HAVE TO GIVE THE LAKSA AUNTIE A MENACING LOOK WHEN SHE GRABBED MY LAST 10 DOLLARS AND GAVE ME MY 7 DOLLARS CHANGE! I CAN ACTUALLY BE FREINDLY YOU NOE LAKSA AUNTIE, I'M NOT HAVIN PMS. I'M JUST PDB! PATHETICALLY DAMN BROKE!!

DAMN IT, I'M BROKE SHITLESS.

I SINCERELY HOPE THE PERSONNEL-IN-CHARGE-OF-PAYROLL-OF-THE-SUPER-POWDERFUL-FINANCE-DEPT-WHO-SOMEHOW-DELAYED-POOR-ATTACHMENT-STUDENTS-PAYCHECKS WILL READ THIS.

Arghh!!! Forget it, by the time this TWAT read this, i'll be servin my 3th year of my 7 years jail term for robbing a bank.

*catchin my breath* I'm tired. I feel better now. The feelin of releasin your frustration for the whole day is just....... wonderful. It's just like the understated but so important ability to shit after sittin on the goddamn toilet seat for 4 1/2 hrs. ( Ppl who suffered from constipation will understand) I feel like a whole new person now. I'm changed. I actually feel guilty now. Sorry abt the ranting, for all those who happen to read this today. I promise i'll be better. I'll be more tactful and selective in the word usage of my Blog. I'll aspire to be better-tempered person altogether. Ok, i'll begin my whole new personality by plannin ahead and look forward to tomorrow's challanges. Let's see what i'll do tmr....

Hmmmm...

I know.

I'll bitch abt my delayed pay to my oh-so-blur supervisor.

That will do.

2003-06-12T16:37:00.000+08:00

It's a cloudy day today. Not quite used to it after havin BLARDY hot weather that u can fry an egg up on your ass for such a loong time. If you can't probably tell by now, i'm PISSED. Damn PISSED. Why? Becos i've not get my pay yet. And it's not the 1st time this happened to me, this exact senario happened to me the last attachment. Maybe they LOVE to do a Re-enactment.

I SERIOUSLY NEED MONEY. CAN YOU HEAR ME XXX, MY BELOVED EMPLOYER??? Did'nt we S'poreans pride ourselves to be super-efficient in watever we do??? Then WHY is that when i checked my bank acc balance at the ATM this afternoon that i still hav $3.13 starin back at me? Good question. I tell u WHY. It is becos some moron in the FINANCE DEPT had so conveniently 'FORGOTTEN" to process our paychecks. Or, or, for some STUPID reason, they might have banked in the cheque to someone else who did'nt have to toil under the blazin hot sun or smile at some sonofabitch to get his dirty job done. Or maybe, they could hav lost my zapped copy of bank passbook with my acc no. RITE? RITE?

I NEED THE MOOLAH OR STHG THAT HAS MONETARY VALUE TO PAY OFF MY HP BILLS THAT I'VE BEEN HOLDIN UP FOR 3 MTHS, 3 WHOLE FRIGGIN MTHS!!! I NEED TO GET SOME NEW CLOTHES ON MY BACK SO I CAN ACTUALLY GO OUT WITHOUT FEELIN LIKE A COMPLETE SLOB! I NEED MY PAY DESPERATELY SO THAT I CAN ACTUALLY NOT HAVE TO GIVE THE LAKSA AUNTIE A MENACING LOOK WHEN SHE GRABBED MY LAST 10 DOLLARS AND GAVE ME MY 7 DOLLARS CHANGE! I CAN ACTUALLY BE FREINDLY YOU NOE LAKSA AUNTIE, I'M NOT HAVIN PMS. I'M JUST PDB! PATHETICALLY DAMN BROKE!!

DAMN IT, I'M BROKE SHITLESS.

I SINCERELY HOPE THE PERSONNEL-IN-CHARGE-OF-PAYROLL-OF-THE-SUPER POWDERFUL-FINANCE-DEPT-WHO-SOMEHOW-DELAYED-POOR-ATTACHMENT-STUDENTS-PAYCHECKS WILL READ THIS.

Arghh!!! Forget it, by the time this TWAT read this, i'll be servin my 3th year of my 7 years jail term for robbing a bank.

*catchin my breath* I'm tired. I feel better now. The feelin of releasin your frustration for the whole day is just....... wonderful. It's just like the understated but so important ability to shit after sittin on the goddamn toilet seat for 4 1/2 hrs. ( Ppl who suffered from constipation will understand) I feel like a whole new person now. I'm changed. I actually feel guilty now. Sorry abt the ranting, for all those who happen to read this today. I promise i'll be better. I'll be more tactful and selective in the word usage of my Blog. I'll aspire to be better-tempered person altogether. Ok, i'll begin my whole new personality by plannin ahead and look forward to tomorrow's challanges. Let's see what i'll do tmr....

Hmmmm...

I know.

I'll bitch abt my delayed pay to my oh-so-blur supervisor.

That will do.

2003-06-09T17:45:00.000+08:00

It's a B-E-A-U....tiful day today. Not really. It's The Usual Shit. Will go into that later... received a message from dear gal Jugh**d.. Told me that she created her very own blog. Feel kinda excited.. was playin with the idea of having 1 of my own for quite some time, but did'nt get my hands 2 it.. Now, finally i'm thinkin 'why not? i can blog instead of visitin the therapist. And it's cheap too. No, it's not cheap. It's FREE!!!' Ok, maybe not free, minus ,the electrical bills... But wat the heck, i can say watever I WANT and get away wit it. And if 1 fine day, i dun feel like doin it anymore, i'll juz stop tappin the keyboards. No big deal. I'm visitin schs in every corner in s'pore as usual. Yes, that's my job. I dun exactly like it but i can say i dun hate it. But sometimes i encounter EXTREMELY friendly and helpful souls like the following, Mr Nostril Hair. Who just made my day.

So anyway, this is how my day went :

Me:Hi, good morning.. I'm XXX from XXX.. I'm here to do some verification checks on your sch.(puttin on my bloody smile.)

Mr Nostril Hair:Where are you from again?(flaring his nostrils,his long black friends greetin me.)

Me:(slightly taken aback, manage to remain my composure after the shock.) I'm from XXX i'm here to do verification checks in your sch, so can i have a map or something? I need to identify the different parts of the sch.

Mr Nostril Hair:No need, i can tell you.*startin to point madly at all different directions at the same time tellin me where is blk 1,2,3 etc.*

*silently* Just get your big fat ass into the staff lounge and gimme that bloody layout of that god damn sch, you TWIT.

Me:(tryin to be very patient)I need the layout of the sch so that i know the location of different parts of the schs and their usage. A simple layout of the sch will be very helpful.(bloody smile up again.)

Mr Nostril Hair:Oh ok.... (grunting under his breath.)

Him: *silently* Such a pain in the ass. Make me have a late lunch. Stupid bitch.

He has extaordinary long nostril hair... it's just... too long... for normal human standards. Was tryin very hard not to think of his long black friends who just said 'hi' to me a moment ago. Imagining them dancin and wavin to me. Panicking, i started countin my toes... 1,2,3,4,5,6,7... Mr Nostril Hair is back.

Mr Nostril Hair:(shoving it into my face.)This is the layout of the sch.

Me:Thanks.. (showin my pearlies again)

I begun to check my list of missing buildings against the layout he gave me. No, SHOVED in my face. Good, everthin's there. Done. time to do inspect ard.

Me: Thanks.. You've been a great help.. (scurried away, worryin he'll command his nostril hair to launch an attack on me.)

I did my rounds and went to the bus stop heading back.

Was at the bus stop and i started thinkin... Does the kids have sthg like personal grooming in their syllabus? I'm SERIOUS. It's no laughin matter, u see... Ok, i'm not gettin personal or tryin to be mean to ppl who hav relatively long nostril hair who happen to read this. Ok, listen. Nowadays with the SARS virus, we gotta be more conscious wit our personal groomin rite??? ppl who have REEEAAALLLYY looonnng nostril hair should plait them up nicely, or u know just gently run a lawn mower over them. See? It's easy rite? Look, you dun wanna die just bcos of a lousy strand of nostril hair belonging to a SARS carrier is lyin
innocently in your nasi lemak rite when you're happily chowin' away rite?

My bus came. Guess wat? An old cow was diggin her bloody nose.

I SAY.... GIMMME A BREAK....